PTB SUniversity 2012
by teamedwardalways
Summary: I signed up for Project Team Beta's S.University 2012. Here I will post my homework assignments-random one-shots. Most will feature E/B but you never know I might try something a little different. All work is un-beta'd. Rated M.
1. PreAssignment

Disclaimer: SM still owns all things Twilight. I only own this fic's plot and the naughtiness in it. NO copyright infringement intended.

**Well, hi there kiddies. I signed up for Smut University 2012 because some of my fav author's will be professors, plus quite frankly writing lemons scares the shit out of me...always have...hoping this schooling will help with that...so here you get to read my first assignment...remember it's not beta'd.  
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**Enjoy!  
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**Smut University 2012 Pre-Assignment**

The music pulsates in the club, vibrating off of the writhing bodies on the dance floor. I lean against the bar, a drink in hand. My eyes scan the scene before me. I'm looking. I'm always looking.

I take a sip, the cool whiskey burns on its way done. I continue to look.

I feel like a predator, but I need this, I can't help myself. I keep looking.

I don't know exactly who I'm looking for, but I'll know when I find her.

The girl usually varies, blonde, brunette, red-head. But the reason is always the same, I have a craving, a need I have to satisfy, and this is the only way I know how.

I don't want strings—I don't need strings. I just want what will satisfy my primal, sexual need. Unfortunately, I'm only satisfied for a short while, and then I'm back here or at another bar or club looking.

I'm always looking.

My eyes and dick notice the blonde in the low-cut dress. Her tits bounce as she dances, teasing me. I stare at her, trying to figure out if she will satisfy my deep need. My dick says no, she's not the one.

I continue to look.

The writhing, sweaty, dancing bodies begin to blur, and become one big mass of darkness.

I try to discern body from body, male from female, but I can't.

I take another sip of my drink, squeeze my eyes shut and take several deep breaths. My need, my lust, grows stronger inside me, willing me to find the one immediately.

I open my eyes, and on the dance floor wearing a tight skirt, spiked stilettos, and a sequined tank top is this brunette lost in the music. Bodies dance and thrash around her. Some rub up against her, but she's oblivious—lost in the sounds and feel of the music. Her hands roam her body. My mouth goes dry. My dick pulsates and grows in the confines of my jeans.

She's the one.

My eyes focus in on her. A bead of sweat trickles down her chest, getting lost between her pert tits. They look to be just a handful, perfect for squeezing, tasting, licking. My jeans become too constrictive, too uncomfortable.

Her hands wrap around the back of her neck and twist into her hair making a mock ponytail. Her elegant neck is on display and all I want to do is lick my up and down it.

Her exposed earlobe is perfect for sucking and nibbling on.

Her body twists, her back is to me.

She slowly gyrates her hips—a steady rhythm is created.

I begin to imagine her gyrating those hips while she rides my dick, her luscious tits bouncing as she does right before my mouth claims them one at a time. My tongue slowly swirls around her pert nipple, sucking and twisting it with my teeth. She moans out in ecstasy.

She's the one. I have to have her. I need to have her. Tonight I will claim her, and satisfy my deep need.

I down my drink, and make my way to the dance floor.

Her eyes are closed as she continues to sway to the music.

She is sexy as hell, and all I can think about is making her mine.

I push aside the guy trying to dry hump her, and take his place.

Her body's heat hits me and I can smell her scent—a mixture of cinnamon and sweat. It's heady and lingers in my nostrils—it's intoxicating.

I inhale deeper.

I move closer, mere millimeters from her petite frame.

Her long, mahogany hair sticks to the exposed skin on her back. I want to wrap my hands around it and pull her against me, letting her know what she's doing to me.

Instead, I move with her, as with I was her shadow or extension of her being.

She doesn't seem to notice my presence—yet. They always notice, but by then it's too late.

The music shifts and turns into something more exotic—erotic even. She swivels her hips slowly, her hands roam her curves.

It's time.

I step closer until my body is flush with hers.

She momentarily stills, but then she begins to dance again—her ass rubbing up against my throbbing, swelling dick.

My hands reach around and grab her by the hips, pulling her closer to me, giving me that friction I need.

Her round luscious ass continues to tease my dick.

My hands move around to the front of her torso, and splay against the slick skin of her tight stomach under her shirt.

A shudder rips through her.

My lust for her grows—consuming every inch of me.

I need this beautifully sexy woman.

I want this beautifully sexy woman.

Her body leans into mine. Her hands snake up and reach behind my neck, pulling my head to hers.

Her slender fingers weave into my hair and she tugs me to her even closer.

Her head twists around until our mouths connect.

Her tongues sweeps across my bottom lip, and eagerly I open my mouth to her, wanting desperately to taste her.

Her tongue wraps around mine, massaging it, and I am lost in the sensations that course through me.

This feeling is something different, something new.

My need and want grow ten-fold.

I've never experienced anything like this with any of them.

It's almost as if this sexy woman calls to me, was made for me.

Mine.

The word echoes in my head.

She is mine.

Mine.

Only mine.

Our tongues continue to tease and pleasure the other, but I can't get enough, I need more of her.

I feel as though I could crawl inside her, and still it wouldn't be enough, I wouldn't be close enough, have enough.

My mouth greedily works its way down her neck, my tongue tasting her skin.

I need more.

She senses it, and I feel she needs it too.

She was made for me.

Only me.

Mine.

She twists in my arms until our chests are flush against the other. Pulsating heat radiates from the both of us. Our chests heave in unison. I stare down at her, and when she finally looks up, it's under hooded eyes—lust is written all over her.

She feels it.

She needs it.

She wants it.

Just as I do.

My hand snakes up her back finding its rightful spot, cradling her neck.

She leans into my touch, while her eyes flutter close and her lips part.

Her warm breath blankets me.

I lean down and trail my lips along her collar bone and up her neck to her ear. "I want you," I groan into her ear.

I reluctantly pull away, my body protesting not being so close to her.

Her eyes slowly open, and I find myself getting lost in the depths—chocolate brown consumes me.

"Mmmmm," she moans, her head nods.

I crash my lips to hers and we become a frenzy of lips, tongues, teeth. Hands memorize the contours of our bodies.

We pull apart, panting with want and lust.

Her chest heaves, her luscious tits hypnotizing me with their throbbing rhythm.

She links her fingers with mine, pulls me away from the dance floor through the throngs of people—people who were oblivious to our recent display.

I easily follow her through the club, and down a dark and narrow hallway.

My body being pulled by hers, but it's more than that. I feel as though where ever she would go I would know, and I would easily find her.

Everything about her sings to me, calls to me.

We reach the end of the hall, when she opens a door I hadn't noticed.

She pulls me inside and I realize we are in a supply closet.

My body hums in anticipation, waiting for what is to come.

It always comes.

I always come.

She closes the door, and leans against it, her hand still wrapped around the knob.

She's too far away, I need her closer to me—now.

I take a predatory step and she does the same. It's almost as if we are both hunters in the jungle circling out next kill.

She wiggles her index finger at me, calling me to her.

My body responds before my mind does, and in an instant I have her flush against the door, my body hovering over hers. Her pussy in direct contact with the aching, throbbing dick—a few articles of clothing don't matter at the moment.

I begin to grind against her, she shivers with each pass.

Her hands trail up my arms and then wrap around the back of my neck, her fingers lacing together.

Her eyes are hooded, and I can easily smell her arousal in the air. She wants it and needs it just as much as I do—maybe more.

I lean in and lick the top of her tits, the mixture of sweat and her scent are tangy on my tongue.

I relish it.

"Oh, God," she moans.

"Maybe not God, but Edward will do," I tease, as I nip my way up her neck and along her jaw.

"Bella," she pants.

This time it is different. I've never given my real name to any of them, and I've never asked for theirs. One night stands are simply that, one night of nothing but pure sex—no strings. But tonight it's different. I want to hear her scream out my name when I make her come again and again. I want it to be my name she remembers the next time some random guy attempts to please her and can't because he won't compare to me. I want my name emblazoned in her mind when she touches herself alone at night.

My name.

Mine.

She's mine.

My hand slides up under her tank, her smooth, soft skin is warm under my touch. I feel her stomach muscles constrict and twist and my hand slowly trails up her torso.

Hungrily I palm her luscious, pert tits and squeeze them. I was right, they are the perfect size.

She begins to trail her hands up and down my sides sending shivers throughout my body.

My tongue dives deeper, and I grind against her—hard.

She arches into my touch and lets out a breathy moan that is practically my undoing.

I need her.

Now.

While my one hand becomes very familiar with her tits, the other roams until it find the hem of her skirt and slowly, ever so slowly, my fingers make their way across her silky skin and I feel the heat radiating from her pussy.

My fingers brush against the fabric of her panties and I feel her wetness through the thin fabric.

It spurs me on.

I push aside the obtrusive material and my fingers connect with hot, wet, dripping lips.

Bella moans into my mouth and pushes her pelvis into my hand.

Greedy.

Hungry.

My fingers glide against her slick folds, and then after my finger is coated with her warm juices, I slide one finger in, then another, and another.

Bella lets out a gasp, her head falling back against the door.

She hitches her leg to my hip, allowing my fingers to penetrate her deeper.

She moans.

I growl.

I begin to push and pull my fingers out of her.

"You like me finger fucking you, don't you?" I ask, my lips on my neck.

"Ung, yes, fuck yes," she moans.

"Just wait, baby, just wait until my dick in fucking you," I notify her.

God, I can't fucking wait to have her wet, hot pussy wrapped around my throbbing dick.

Bella's hand meets mine as my fingers continue to fuck her. She begins rubbing her clit and the sounds she starts to make I know she's getting close.

I still all movement.

"Nuh uh, beautiful, if you're going to come, it's not going to be because of my skilled fingers, it's going to be because of dick."

I quickly pull down her panties and push up her skirt.

Bella doesn't waste any time undoing the button and zipper of my jeans.

She works quickly pushing down my boxers, releasing my dick.

It springs from his agonizing confinement—I think I hear it sigh in relief.

"You ready, baby girl?"

"God, yes, Edward, I'm ready."

I don't tease, I can't, as much as I want to I can't. I know this won't last, so I am going to savor as much of it as I can.

My dick slides inside of her and her walls tighten around me. She is so warm, and wet and it feels delicious. It feels perfect—like her pussy was meant only for my dick, and my dick alone.

"Right now you're mine, only mine," I demand, as I begin to push deeper inside her.

Bella wraps her other leg around my waist and my hands reach behind her and grab onto her ass—supporting her against the door.

I look down and see my dick push and pull in and out of her, it glistening in the dim light of the supply room.

This isn't love making, this is just dirty, nasty sex, and nothing more.

The sounds coming from her make me pound into her with complete abandonment.

"Mine," I remind her.

I feel her walls pulsate and I know she's close.

I just want to hold out a little bit longer, the familiar tingle is starting to build in my balls.

Once again, Bella's fingers find her clit and she begins frantically rubbing.

Then she arches her back, her head hitting the door, and her pussy tightens around my cock, without mercy.

"Edward," she screams out into the small room, and I don't care if anyone at this point hears her—hears us.

Within seconds, my muscles strain, my balls tense, and my orgasm overtakes me.

I shiver and shudder while Bella continues to ride out her own orgasm.

Moments pass and our panting fills the room.

Steadily, our breathing regulates, my hands leave her ass letting her legs unwind from my waist.

She wobbles.

I can't help the smirk on my lips.

I steady her, and pull away.

She is gloriously beautiful.

Bella adjusts her skirt, and smooths out her hair.

She has that "I've just been thoroughly fucked" look on her beautiful face.

My chest swells with pride—she looks like that because of me.

I restrain myself from rushing over to her and taking her again.

After tucking my shirt in back, Bella makes her way over to me. My tall stature dwargs her petite frame—even with those stilettos on.

She splays her hands on my chest, heat spreads from her touch, and she looks up at me through her long lashes, her bottom lip between her teeth.

"So, will I see you again?" she quietly asks, uncertainty laced in her voice.

I smile down at her, tucking a loose hair behind her ear. "Definitely."

"Good." She reaches up on her tippy-toes, and gives me a quick peck on the lips.

I want more.

I pull her against me, and crash my lips to hers—greedily kissing her.

Bella pushes against my chest, prematurely ending the kiss.

We both pant as we stare at each other.

A warm, sexy smile takes her lips.

"I want to dance some more with the girls. Do you wanna stay or head home?" Bella asks, her smile growing wider.

"Mom said EJ and Nessie can spend the night, but…uh…I'll meet up with you at home for…uh…" Suddenly I feel shy. It's probably because of the way she's looking at me. Bella always has a way of leaving me at a loss for words with just a look.

"Round two?" she finishes with a quirked eyebrow.

"You can count on it," I agree, and so does my dick—my jeans are starting to feel tight again.

Bella gives me another quick peck on the lips—tease—before making her way to the door.

She turns and gives a pointed finger. "Next time, Edward, I want to be the predatory sex addict," she informs me.

"Sure, babe," I reply.

She can stalk me anytime she wants.

"Love you. See you at home," she tells me, blows a kiss, and then leaves.

I nod. "Love you, too."

Gotta get home and prepare for round two or three.

God, I love my fucking wife.


	2. Homework Assignment 1

Disclaimer: Uh, nope don't own any part of that delicious apple, SM does, like you needed me to tell you that. I do own this little one shot and the smuttiness involved. No copyright infringement intended.

**PTB Homework Assignment #1: Write a lemon using a Karma Sutra position you've never come across in a fic before…**

**Position: Randy Raft**

**As always with my PTB homework assignments, this one isn't beta'd either.**

**This was a bitch to write. The whore wouldn't give it up as easily even though I caressed her, and talked dirty to her. **

**Enjoy!**

"**House Sitter"**

When my friend, Rose, asked me if I wouldn't mind house sitting while her husband and her went on an in-prompt-to trip, I jumped at the chance. Who wouldn't want to live in a multi-million dollar house for a week? Needless to say, I was quick to say yes.

I've been here for five glorious days, Rose and Emmett are due back in two, and I have yet to use their fabulous pool. But today I am finally getting my chance, and I was going to enjoy every single minute of it.

The sun is peeking out from behind the tall trees that line their yard, rising higher and higher in the sky. We are experiencing a heat wave of sorts, and I am going to soak up as much of it as I could.

I head out to the patio with everything I need for some sunbathing, relaxing fun—bikini, towel, sunscreen, sunglasses, Ipod and Ipod dock, a variety of magazines, and a small cooler filled with Diet Coke, water and some snacks. I am only going to head back into the house if I had to pee; I make sure I have everything I could possibly need.

I set myself up on one of the lounge chairs, plug in my Ipod—Christina Perri comes on, spray myself with sunscreen and just lay back, basking in the sun's rays.

The day lulls by with the occasional dip in the pool to cool off. During one dip I become adventurous, and get on one of the rafts they have. Unstable, floating objects and myself don't necessarily get along, but fortunately the raft that I chose is like one of those industrial ones it seems—firm, not flimsy at all, and I manage just fine getting on and off of it without drowning.

I am having the most relaxing, best day ever, when I notice there's a break in the sun, things darken behind my eyelids.

I internally beg the sun to come out from behind the clouds, but it doesn't hear me.

"Great, just great," I mutter to no one in particular.

"Sun, come back, please, I'm not through soaking you up yet," I beg, and this time it hears me.

But within a minute or two it's playing hide and seek again. And apparently it loves this game because for the next ten minutes or so the sun keeps shrouding me in shade, and it's getting irritating.

Finally, it comes back out, but then the weirdest thing happens. Behind my closed eyes it goes light, dark, light, dark, light, dark.

What the fuck?

"What the fuck?" I yell out.

A chuckle cuts through the noise of the pool pump, and my eyes flash open. My hand goes up, shielding the sun that is now shining brightly overhead.

Attached to that chuckle is a body, a very tall, lean, yet muscular body.

I freeze. Panic starts to settle in, my heart rate picks up. Oh my God, he's here to attack me and rob the place.

Wait…is my would be attacker slash robber wearing a pair of board shorts?

My eyes slowly gaze down, and yep he's wearing board shorts. And they hang low on his hips exposing a very nicely defined v.

Great, now I'm ogling my would be attacker slash robber.

"See something you like?" the attacker slash robber asks, a crooked, sexy grin plastered on his lips.

Delectable, totally kissable, I wanna suck on lips.

_Reign it in, Swan. He's here to hurt you and rob the place, not make you feel good all over. _

_Right. Shit, where in the fuck is my cell phone?_

He continues to stare at me that smile still there, while I attempt to keep one eye on him while the other looks for my cell. I probably look like some deranged lunatic right about now.

My heart still thumps wildly in my chest, but I'm beginning to think it's not because he's here to do what attackers and robbers do, but because I'm looking at a very hot, and not because we're experiencing a heat wave, man.

I feel as though the sun has intensified. It's getting really hot in here, I mean out here.

Much to my dismay, I can't find my fucking cell, probably because I left inside on the counter, wanting to get away from the rest of the world—stupid, fabulous pool and its powers.

My mind starts racing, trying to come up with something I could use to defend myself. Hmmm, I wonder if my spray sunscreen could be used like mace. Maybe. My mind and eyes keep searching for something—anything.

The attacker slash robber clears his throat, and chuckles again.

I'm glad I'm so fucking amusing.

All I can do is stare at him because I've got nothing, no weapon to use as a defense, no snarky remark, no scream, nothing. This man has rendered completely helpless at the moment. His voodoo mind trick seems to be working.

"I'm, Edward, Emmett's brother. I didn't know anyone would be here," he informs me.

Edward—Emmett's brother.

Rose told me Emmett had a brother, but he was this nerdy computer geek, and the man standing before me is far from being a nerdy, computer geek. He's definitely anything but. Yep the word nerdy wouldn't be an adjective I would use to describe Edward.

Gorgeous?

Yep.

Hot?

Yep.

Beautiful?

Yep.

Kill me now body?

Yep.

There is no way he is Emmett's brother. Nope, nuh uh, not buying it.

"You're Emmett's brother? Right…" I mean there is some kind of resemblance in the eyes, but apart from that I don't see Emmett anywhere in this guy. And Rose described him as totally not my type, nerdy beyond nerdy. The guy I'm looking at—is soooo my type and then some.

Edward moves slightly to the left, completely blocking the sun, however, giving me better look at him. My God, he's pretty—like on the cover of magazines pretty. Edward has the kind of bone structure you imagine can only be created by plastic surgeons. His jaw, oh his jaw. I just want to lick it and lick it and lick it.

A heat starts to bubble inside, and a tingle begins to make its presence known between my legs. I do believe I'm throbbing. I, as discreetly as possible, squeeze my thighs together. Yep, there's definite throbbage.

The pretty, I mean Edward, speaks reminding me he's still standing, more like hovering, over me. "Yes, I'm Emmett's younger, better looking brother. And you would be?" He trails off, his eyes roam my entire body, and I begin to feel like my bikini is a little too small. Discomfort is making itself well-known.

It's my turn to clear my throat. His eyes immediately snap to mine. "Bella, I'm Rose's friend, Bella."

He cocks his head to the side, appraising me. "Bella? Rose has never mentioned she had a friend named Bella."

"Funny, Rose mentioned that Emmett's brother was some nerdy computer geek."

"Sounds like Rose. Oh, how I love my sister-in-law. Anyway, I'm just gonna take a dip in the pool and catch some sun. I already used their gym." Edward informs me backing up towards the pool's edge.

All I can do is nod my head, and watch him. I slip my sunglasses back on, mostly because I don't want to be caught ogling him again.

He gives me a wave and wink and then dives into the pool. Water splashes, and a few cool droplets hit my heated skin. I swear I hear a sizzle.

As much as I want to join him in the pool, I know deep down it's a bad idea. He'll be wet, I'll be wet, and we are both practically naked already. It can only lead to one thing, one thing that is currently on my mind as the throbbing reminds me, and one thing Rose has obviously been preventing from happening. Why wouldn't she mention me to him, I'm practically family, and why would she say Edward is geeky and not my type? I can only come up with one conclusion—she knew we would hit it off, and more than likely hook up. Is that a bad thing?

Maybe Edward is one of those love them and leave them types. Maybe he would use me—ya know, wham bam thank you ma'am. That has got to be it. Rose is just looking out for me. I'm a big girl I can take care of myself, but I love her for it nonetheless.

So, Mr. Hot Boardshorts is a love and leave em type. Figures. He looks the part too, all cocky, crooked smile, hot body, killer voice, cocky—I may have said that already. I am so going to ignore him while he's here. Yep, he doesn't exist.

I turn up the music on my Ipod, Adele wafts through the air, put my sunglasses back on, and recline myself back on the lounger. Effectively ignoring Edward.

Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Whatever, passes like a fucking snail. Every time I hear a weird splashy noise come from the pool I have to take a peek. And of course every time I do, Edward catches me, giving me his crooked perfect smile and a cheeky wink. As much as I wanted to jump him, I also want to pummel him. Arrogant prick.

He just exudes it. It seems to even be in the droplets of water that cascade down his lean, muscular body and onto the pool deck every time he gets out of the water. He then walks over to grab is towel and dry off his gorgeously, chiseled face, takes a sip of his drink, gives me another "I know you want me" wink and then dives right back him. It's irritating. And frustrating—sexually frustrating. He knows exactly what he's doing. But after the hundredth time he decides to forgo the dive back in, and sun himself on the lounger—two away from mine.

It is game on.

I remove my glasses and get up and stretch, making sure I make a couple of moaning noises as I do. I adjust my bikini bottom, and make my way over to the pool steps. The sun has begun to set over the trees making it easier for me to see him and his reaction—if he's going to react at all.

Then it hits me. What if this doesn't work? What if I'm his kryptonite? What if he's…gay? Maybe that's why Rose never really thought of hooking us up—he's gay, plays for the other team.

No, he's definitely not gay. He was all but taking out his dick and showing it to me.

Nope, not gay.

A pain in my vagina, definitely, but not gay.

The pool is lukewarm, thank the pool gods because I don't like anything wet and cold—wet and warm yes, not wet and cold.

I slowly make way into the water and ease myself down to my shoulders. I take a sideways glance over at Edward and he's definitely watching me.

_Oh enjoy the show, fucker. This is as close as you're gonna get with your probably STD infected weapon. Gah, thank you Rose._

I completely submerge myself underwater, and when I come up I make sure it's without sputtering and I am trying to be sexy as hell. I smooth my hair back, arching my back, effectively pushing my boobs out. My body is angled towards him, so even with my eyes closed at the moment, I know he's watching—I can feel him watching.

I open my eyes, and notice he's staring right at me with this look of complete hunger and lust.

The water suddenly feels like a hot tub set on high.

I lick my lips and as gracefully as possible, make my way back to the steps. I'm quite surprised that all my limbs are cooperating with my brain at the moment. My name could be Grace for once.

I walk out of the pool and towards him, ala Phoebe Cates in Fast Times, except I keep my bikini top on. I imagine he's imagining me taking it off, because he's eyes are still glued to me.

_Take that Mr. Gonna Torture Bella With My Hot, Wet Bod._

I clear my throat, and Edward quickly averts his eyes. I internally giggle and fist pump.

I know it's cliché, but I wish at the moment I had the kind of sunscreen that you had to rub on not this new spray stuff, because I would so ask him to rub some on my back.

Edward's voice interrupts my inner ponderings. "So, um…are you…um…"

And before he can get another word out, he's on my lounger, his lips on mine.

_That didn't take long. _

_I win!_

His tongue parting my lips stops my inner victory dance, and I welcome it with my own. Our tongues tangle and wrestle—seeking dominance, seeking more. His hands hungrily roam my body, and mine do the same. I feel every muscle under my fingertips. I explore as much of him as I can. His body is exquisite; there should be a law against having a body this in shape.

Edward's lips leave mine, and trail down my jaw and my neck, sucking and licking. His mouth eventually finds its way to my ear. "God, I've wanted to do this all fucking day. When you got in that pool it took every ounce of control not to jump in after you," he admits, his hot breath warming my heated skin even more.

"I know what you mean. The way you've been teasing me all day has me throbbing like there's no tomorrow," I say all breathy. I can't believe I just said that to him.

"I could help take care of that throbbing you know. In fact I have some throbbing of my own," he says into my neck, he is at the moment nuzzling.

And to accentuate his point he grabs my hand and places on his very hard cock.

Extremely hard.

He moans as I begin to stroke him outside his boardshorts. And if it's even physically or anatomically possible he grows harder and bigger.

Now it's mine turn to moan.

Edward's fingers easily pull at the strings holding my bikini top together, and as if the top were made of nothing it disappears. He pulls away from my neck, and eyes my tits—which are out on display for him and the whole world to see. I wonder if those satellites in space are taking pictures of us right now, and my naked chest will end up on some porn site.

That crooked smile I've been seeing all day graces his puffy lips. "Nice."

I would tend to agree with his assertion, my tits are quite nice if I do say so myself. And I do say.

His fingers slide over my hard, pert nipples. I arch my back into his hands seeking more. He obliges, his fingers deftly rub and pinch. God, it feels incredible. He then lavishes more attention to my tits massaging them in his hands.

"Your tits are so soft, so perfect," he tells them, his eyes fixated on what his doing.

He glances up at me, licking his lips and then dives right in, taking my nipple into his mouth. There's sucking, licking, and more sucking. My hands go right to his hair pulling him closer to me.

He chuckles.

"God, that feels so good," I say all breathy.

The man gives good boob.

His wet lips make their way up my chest and neck—claiming my mouth again.

There is more hunger and want in our kiss. It's like we both want to crawl inside the other and that still won't be enough.

Edward's arms wrap around me, and I feel my body beginning to come off the lounger.

I break away from his delicious lips, and give him a what the fuck look.

"Pool," he manages to get out as he picks me up and he stands.

I wrap my lets around his waist effectively bringing my throbbage in direct contact with his throbbage, and I can't help the gyration my hips begin, seeking out some relief.

Edward moans into my mouth.

Apparently I give good friction.

I feel warm water hit my ass—we are now in the pool, our lips still fused together.

Who needs fucking air?

Water sloshes around us as he continues to bring us deeper into the pool. My legs are still wrapped around him, and I keep pulling myself closer to him. Edward holds me even tighter against him. We both still can't get enough, we both need more, want more.

He slightly lifts me up and the next thing I feel is the raft underneath me. With a tug of my bottom lip, Edward pulls away eyeing me with darkened eyes. His hand splays against my chest, pushing me down. My legs dangle in the water. Goosebumps break out on my skin, the twilight air cool.

"Have you ever had sex in a pool, Bella?" Edward asks, his eyes burning into my skin.

"No, never in a pool," I respond.

His smile widens and he licks his lips.

"Good."

His hands grip my legs and he gently pulls, tugging me and the raft to the shallower end of the pool. Edward stops and pulls the raft against him. The water level is thigh high.

My mind is racing. I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe I am letting this happen. I've never done anything like this. Well, sure I've had a one night stand or two in college, but that was college. I'm a grown woman; I don't ever do this kind of thing. But something about him, something about the way he looks at me, touches me, kisses me, makes me want to throw every logical and reasonable thought out the window and just go with it.

My actions may show I'm going with it, but part of my brain is trying to stifle that action—it just needs a little coaxing.

Edward leans down and places feather-like kisses on my stomach, trailing up my torso.

He stops to look up at me. The darkness in his eyes has softened.

"I usually don't…" he begins.

"Me either," I admit.

The biggest, goofiest grin graces his lips, while he shakes his head. "Good."

Edward's hands slide up and down my legs, his touch instantly heating my skin—water droplets become non-existent.

The pool water may be warm, but a shiver runs through me. I can't help the way my body reacts to him. As much as I've avoided these feelings all day—my body is thankful my mind has finally acquiesced—waving that proverbial white flag.

"Bella, I wanna try something. Carefully flip over, and scoot your ass so it's almost near the edge of the raft," Edward instructs, his fingers massaging my legs.

I swallow. I've never been too coordinated—patting my head and rubbing my tummy at the same time has always been a challenge for me. And now he wants me to flip over—carefully mind you—on a slippery raft in the middle of the pool, I am so going to fall in and come up looking like a drowned rat.

As if he can hear my inner musings, Edward encourages me, "Don't worry, baby, I won't let you fall in and float away from me."

Him calling me baby is my undoing—my brain finally completely surrenders. His words giving me all the encouragement I need.

Slowly, very slowly, I begin to twist my body, as gracefully as I can—I wouldn't want to have my foot accidently smack him in his pretty face—turn my body so I am lying on my stomach. I feel my bikini bottom easily wedge itself in my ass crack as I do. How fucking embarrassing, now my major wedgie is staring at him in the face, and there's nothing I can do about it.

Figures.

I feel Edward's hands trail up my slick thighs, and then his skillful fingers massage my ass cheeks. It feels heavenly. Wedgie be damned.

His fingers wrap around the inside of my bikini bottom and he pulls it down. I wiggle my ass and legs to free the wet, clingy fabric.

I feel completely and utterly exposed, of course I do, my ass and everything else is hanging out for the world to see. Thank God, the only one seeing it right now is Edward, the high wooden fence surrounding the backyard keeps out any prying eyes.

I've never felt comfortable about lying on my stomach. Shit, when I tan with Rose, or with anyone for that matter, I very rarely turn to lie on my stomach. That's why I look slightly two-toned—my front a light golden color, my back, practically bone china white. I may look somewhat ridiculous, but I don't care, no one needs to be exposed to my ass—it's not one of my finer assets.

A kiss to my left ass cheek brings me back to the moment. Edward, apparently likes my backside—a lot. This little revelation puts my mind at ease—somewhat.

His lips travel down my cheek to my thigh, and then to the apex of my legs, right where I've wanted him all along. He comes close but not close enough.

Fucker.

The heavy make-out, petting session has me all kinds of sex crazed. I want him in me now, but the position he's put in has me helpless and at his mercy. Don't get me wrong, it's turning me on beyond belief, but if I don't get some relief for the throbbage that I have been enduring for the past few hours I'm going to explode all over this raft, and it won't be pretty.

"Edward, please," I beg like some common hussy.

He chuckles. He fucking chuckles.

I'm about to flip right off this damn raft, and let Edward Fucktard Cullen have a piece of my mind when…

…I feel his mouth right there, and I can't help the porn star moan that escapes me. His mouth is heavenly.

I begin to easily forgive the chuckling. He's making up for chuckling and then some.

Edward's tongue continues to lap at me, his teeth grazing my clit, and then the sucking—the wonderful sucking, when I feel my insides coil and I feel myself on that glorious edge waiting to fall.

And then…nothing.

The fall doesn't come.

His mouth, lips, tongue, teeth are gone.

I crane my head over my shoulder to see what the hell is going on. I can't believe he just stopped.

When my eyes find him, that crooked, evil grin is staring at me—taunting me.

"Bella, as much as I would like it to be my tongue to make you come, I'd much rather it be my cock instead." He winks.

I've never been one for dirty talk, but the way the words fall from his lips has me completely and utterly embracing the dirty.

Edward stares at me, looking for something, maybe hesitation, maybe reluctance. He's not going to find any. I want this. For some bizarre reason I need this—I need him. I'm drawn to him like I've been drawn to no other. Maybe this is why Rose did what she did. Maybe she knew that once we meet and got together that would be the end all.

When I finally stop thinking I notice Edward is completely naked, his boardshorts floating in the pool. And then I feel him right there.

His hands caress my ass cheeks and panic begins to settle in. I hope he's not thinking he's going to, because he's not.

My muscles coil and tighten.

"Bella, baby, relax, I'm not going to. Although I wouldn't mind, but no, I'm not going to. Just trust me. This is going to feel really, really good."

For some reason I do trust him and I relax.

Edward tugs on my legs effectively pulling my ass off the raft and closer to him. Even though he has a firm grip on me, it still feels like I could fall off the raft at any moment.

"Don't worry, babe, I've got you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you now that I've got you right where I want you."

Sex just drips from his lips. I feel wetter even though I'm surrounding by freaking water in a pool because of it. If he can do that with just his words—his voice, holy fuck what is going to happen when he's actually inside me.

My brain and body can't even fathom what it's going to be like. I've never experienced anything like this in my entire sexual existence. Sad but true. I have a feeling that Edward Cullen is about to ruin it for any other man that may come after—if there are any, I mean, I just…

Fuck.

Before I can continue to think another thought, I feel Edward release one of my legs. I try to peer over my shoulder to get a look, but I don't really need to because I feel it. His cock right there. He's slowly and torturously gliding it up and down my wet lips—teasing me like he's done all damn day.

Before I can protest the head slips inside and I can't help the gasp that escapes me.

"Shit, Bella, you need to relax. Damn, you're fucking tight," Edward grunts.

I'm doing my best to relax, but the fact that my ass is hanging off a raft in the middle of my friend's pool in the broad almost non-existent daylight, and that just the head of his cock feels slightly bigger than what I've experienced in the past has me a little…tense.

Edward's hand once again grips my leg, steadying me. His fingers rub softly and slowly attempting to relax me, and it helps.

He pushes in further. "God, Bella, so fucking tight."

He pushes in further still, until I feel him flush against me. I have never felt so full and stretched. It is slightly uncomfortable, but in a good way—a very good way.

He lifts my legs a little higher, I almost feel like we are playing that wheel barrel race game you did as a kid. His hands wrap around underneath my thighs, just above my knees and he begins to push and pull. The raft doesn't give me any leverage to push back against him, to meet his thrusts. I have a feeling Edward likes the control—he likes being _in_ control.

I give him what I can.

The sun has set and the pool lights come on. I can see our shadow cast on the bottom of the pool. His silhouette and mine are connected. The raft glides back and forth over the water, disturbing the image below.

The pool pump cuts off, and all I hear is Edward's and mine moaning, groaning, and panting, intertwined with the sloshing of water against the raft and his naked body.

His thrusts become more forceful, he pushes my legs up a little more, and somehow he pushes deeper inside me, hitting a spot I thought was just a myth.

"Edward, fuck…" I cry out into the cool air.

"I know, shit, baby, I know," he pants between grunts.

I grip onto the edge of the raft, Edward's thrusts become more aggressive—he's close, I'm close, teetering on the edge.

I reach my hand around underneath me, in desperate search of my clit. After a couple of attempts my fingers find the pulsating nub, and I begin to frantically rub.

"God, Bella, you're touching yourself, shit, I'm not gonna…" He says through gritted teeth, pushing harder and faster.

I keep rubbing, pushing against my clit, getting closer and closer until…my insides coil and tighten and then I'm falling over the edge.

"Edwaaaaardddd," erupts from my mouth.

Edward continues to push and pull and until his muscles tighten and still. He jerks behind me, my legs are slowly lowered.

As I attempt to get air into my lungs at regular intervals, I feel Edward's chest against my back. His heart pounding against me, his breath warm on my neck.

He swipes my hair away, and places tender kisses on my shoulder trailing over my neck. His lips sweep across my earlobe.

"That was…I mean… I've never…Bella…"

"I know…"

It is completely indescribable what just happened—how it felt, how it still feels.

Edward's kisses slowly dissipate when he begins to lift off of me. My body protests the loss of contact.

"Bella, please, turn over."

I do.

And when I do, I see so much in his eyes, and I see a different smile on his lips, it's not cocky, it's just perfect.

He leans down and tenderly kisses me. It's not greedy or needy. It's sweet and gentle.

I can't help but smile back at him when he pulls away.

Edward wraps his arms under me and picks me out, leading us both out of the pool. I easily wrap my arms around his neck. He kisses my lips, nose and then my forehead. It's such an intimate gesture, more intimate than what we just did.

I'm a little confused as to what should happen now—I really have no idea what to do.

As if he can read my mind. "I'm taking you inside to take a hot shower with me and then to bed. And when Rose and my brother get back we are going to tell them their little plan didn't work."

I look up at him and there must be confusion written all over my face.

He quietly laughs and shakes his head. "Obviously for whatever reason they thought we should never meet. Thank God, I have a tendency to raid their house from time to time when their out of town, because I got to be with you, and Bella, I'm not letting you go."

"What?" is all I can get out.

I know I felt something beyond what was happening, I just didn't think he did too.

"Contrary to what my sister-in-law might believe, I'm not a love 'em and leave 'em kinda guy, Bella. I've always wanted more, and for some reason I believe I've just found it."

He leans and kisses me, his steps somewhat falter as we enter the house.

He pulls away, brushing his nose against mine. "Can you live with that?"

I answer him the only way I want to right now, I kiss him this time and we don't stop, not even when we get in the shower.

**A/N: So that didn't go where I wanted it to, but there you have it. I'm exhausted, this stupid thing took a lot outta me. Let me know what you think.**


	3. Homework Assignment 2

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned any part of it, but sadly SM does. I just play in her sandbox. No copyright infringement intended.

**PTB Smut University Homework Assignment #2: Write the Non (Completely) Gratuitous Lemon: One of your couple is hiding something. The guilt is eating them alive. It leaks into everything, bleeds into what should be a moment of passion, of love. They try to lose themselves in the moment, the pleasure, but they can't. Extra Credit: Write your lemon without using the graphic words like: cock, penis, vagina, hole, pussy, insert, etc. Try to write the act with emotion rather than play description.**

**Yep, there ya go. Um, you might need a Kleenex, or two. Well, I did. I needed quite a few while I wrote this. But that's just me. OH, and like all my homework assignments, this isn't beta'd so yep, all those wonderful mistakes are all mine! **

**Enjoy!**

"**Unworthy"**

"If you didn't want to go, Edward, all you had to do was say, ya know?" Bella says over her shoulder as she attempts to unlock the door to her apartment.

"I'm sorry," I utter for about the millionth time since we left.

She glares at me over her shoulder and hmphs. She finally gets the door open and pushes her way inside, leaving it wide open for me to follow if I want.

Of course I want. I will always want.

I walk down the dark hall following after Bella. My gut is in knots, and my head is pounding.

Of course I was nervous meeting Charles Swan for the first time; I mean what guy isn't completely a ball of nerves when they meet their girlfriend's father for the first time? When Bella told me that she had planned a weekend trip for us to meet him, I was a little apprehensive.

The reality of it all is the Charles Swan Bella knows and loves is nothing like the Charles Swan that I met—complete opposites.

Bella makes her way into the bedroom, and I make my way to the couch. I flop myself down, the weight of the visit still heavy on and me let my head fall back on the cushion. Definitely meeting Charles Swan took its toll—and then some.

Of course, I can't tell her. I don't know if I'll ever be able to.

"_I'm not going to jerk you around, Edward. It's plain and simple; I don't like the idea of my daughter dating you. You're not good enough and you never will be. The sooner you accept that—accept my feelings the easier this will be. I know Bella seems to think she's in love with you, but I know better than my daughter. This is simply just a phase and she will soon outgrow you. Like I said you're not good enough for her and soon enough she will figure that out. My daughter is very intelligent, just like her father. Now, I don't intend to make Bella's mind up for her—you're going to do that. I know deep down, in your own way, you want what's best for her; I can see it written all over your face. And I know deep down, you know I'm right, you're not what Bella really needs. I don't care how it happens, but it will happen. You will not be a part of my daughter's life much longer. If you won't do it, then you will leave it in my hands, and believe me you won't like it if it's left in my hands. Do I make myself clear? Do we understand each other?"_

That conversation has been on my mind, since it took place. I left his office stunned, and completely hollow. It came as no surprise really, but when he spoke the words, the reality of them it me like a freight train. Charles Swan didn't want me with his daughter, and either I was going to make that real or he was.

Unfortunately, has hard as I tried I couldn't get his words out of my head the rest of our stay, and of course, Bella noticed. Like her father said, she's very intelligent. I would tell her it was just nerves still, but I know deep down she didn't believe me. And it was hard to convince her they were true when I knew they weren't myself.

Charles Swan hated me.

He more than hated me, he despised me—loathed me.

And has much as I wanted to hate him right back, I couldn't. He was right, after all. I am not good enough for his daughter—I've always known that. Everyday I'm reminded of that. I have nothing really tangible to offer Bella, except my feelings for her, but they're not enough, and Charles Swan easily pointed that out.

He was right.

I don't belong in Bella's world.

I don't belong with her.

As much as my heart was hers, it would never be enough.

Bella deserves more than I can give her.

Part of me wanted desperately to prove Charles Swan wrong. To show him that I am right for his daughter, that I am what she needs. But I would be kidding myself. I tried to push his words out of my head, but then something would happen while we were there to remind me of how right he was.

_Charlotte makes her way around the dinner table placing a plate down in front of each of us. When I look down, I barely recognize what I'm looking at. I think it's chicken, but I can't be sure. It's like something at a very expensive restaurant, a restaurant I've never set foot in._

_And probably never will._

"_So, Edward, Bella tells me you're a musician?" Bella's father asks, disdain in his tone._

"_Yes, Sir, I play piano," I answer. I feel Bella's hand grab mine underneath the table and give it a light encouraging squeeze._

"_And how much do you earn…playing piano?" Charles asks piercing an asparagus spear with his fork. His words drip with condemnation. _

"_Um…" I begin, but Bella answers for me._

"_Daddy, I've already told you. Edward works in a music store for now. He's still trying to get his big break." Bella's eyes turn to mine and a wide smile graces her lips. I see nothing but pride when I look in her eyes._

_Pride I don't deserve._

"_Right, he's a clerk in a music store. I must have forgotten that little tidbit of information," Charles snidely remarks. Bella doesn't catch it but I do._

_I know it's directed only for me. Charles Swan has a way with doing that—letting the person he's speaking to or about know that his words are just for them. _

_I swallow—my appetite fading fast._

_I hate the way he makes me feel—reminding me I'm not good enough for his daughter. I already know this, and yet I can't find it in me to be away from her—I'm selfish._

"_And when do you plan on making your 'big break'?" Bella's father's question pierces my heart, as well has his patronizing look._

_He thinks I'm nothing._

_He thinks I'm unworthy._

_He thinks I'm not good enough._

_He thinks Bella can do so much better._

_He thinks Bella deserves better._

_His thinking is so spot on._

I'm brought back to the present when I hear Bella's footsteps on the hardwood floor. I sit up and she's a few feet away, just staring into me.

My heart clenches in my chest, my throat tightens.

She slowly walks towards me, and when she reaches me, she straddles my lap. I instinctively wrap my arms around her waist pulling her closer. But it's never close enough.

She frowns, and looks down.

My heart breaks. I don't like seeing nothing but a smile on her perfect lips.

I nudge her chin up with a tilt of my fingers. Bella's eyes reach mine, her bottom lip precariously caught between her teeth. I gently pull and release her lip from its prison.

A small smile tugs at her lips, effectively tugging on my aching heart.

"I'm sorry," falls from her mouth, and I am momentarily stunned. What in the hell does she have to be sorry for?

As if she can reach into my mind and pull out my thoughts, she responds to my unspoken question, "I know my father…is hard to take, and I'm sorry I put you in that situation. I honestly thought he would be on his best behavior, Edward. He's just…he's just looking out for me."

She takes a deep breath, and it washes over me. I swallow thickly. There is so much emotion emitting from her at the moment, I'm not sure what to do. I give her hips a gentle squeeze.

"When my mom died, it was basically just him and me. I became…I became his everything. I know he's only looking out for me, I hope you understand that. I just hope that you also understand that no matter what he says, I love you. It's only ever going to be you, Edward. I love my father, but I love you more."

Her words try their damnedest to widdle their way into my brain, but has hard as they try, Charles Swan's word keep them from doing so. His words seem to be so much stronger. I know she loves me and I love her with my everything, but is it enough? Will it be enough? I want to so desperately to believe that it is. But…

Bella's fingers massage the worry lines that have apparently taken up residence between my eyebrows. I grip her tighter, effectively pulling her closer to me. I breathe her in, hoping, as usual, her scent calms me. It does—fractionally.

I want to say my piece, to tell her how I feel, but my intentions are cut short when Bella's lips find mine. The kiss is tender and full of love and want and need.

I feel my heart crack.

She sucks my bottom lip into her mouth, while my hands roam her curves. Her tongue seeks out mine and I willingly give it to her. The kiss deepens.

My heart cracks even more.

Bella pulls away and gets off my lap. Her fingers lace with mine, and she pulls me off the couch, leading us down the hall to her bedroom.

Later on that night, while she's tucked into my side, her steady breathes tickling my chest. I can't help but replay all that's happened. Charles Swan's words swirl around in my head, taunting me, reminding me.

_You're not good enough. _

_My daughter deserves more—better._

_I will not allow this relationship to proceed any further._

_I will do what I have to. _

And as I stare at the beautiful woman sleeping next me, I know what I have to do—the only thing I can do.

Xoxo

"You're fucking kidding me, right?" Emmett asks before he takes another sip of his beer.

I shake my head, taking another big swig of mine.

"Fuck, Edward, that's just…just fucked up. What in the hell are you going to do?"

Now, there's the million dollar question…what am I going to do?

It's been two weeks since we visited Bella's father. Two weeks of me trying my best to not let the situation cloud everything. Unfortunately, I am not a good actor, and Bella knows me better than I know myself.

"_Edward, I know something is wrong. You've been so distant lately. I just wish you would talk to me," she pleads into the phone._

_Yeah, I've basically become an absentee boyfriend as of lately. Coming up with excuse after excuse. Telling her I've got to work late, telling her I forgot, just telling her anything. I know if I see her face to face I will break. _

_I still have no idea what I'm going to do. I've been wracking my brain to come up with some alternative to what needs to be done, but I've got nothing, and it's tearing me up inside. _

_I sigh. "Bella, baby, it's nothing. It's just work. Emmett and I are swamped. Several people recently quit and we're having a hard time finding replacements. I promise it's nothing more than that."_

_It's the first time I've ever lied to her, and I have a feeling it won't be the last._

"_Fine. Don't tell me. Now. Tell me when you're ready."_

"_Whatever you say. Listen I've gotta…"_

"_I know, you've gotta go." I can hear the frustration in her voice._

_Believe me, baby, I'm frustrated too._

"_I'll call you later?"_

"_Come over later?"_

"_I'll see what I can do." Another lie._

"_Edward, I love you," her voice cracks._

_My heart breaks apart._

"_I…I love you, too," I honestly tell her, knowing it's not enough._

_It will never be enough._

I down the rest of my beer.

"Well?" Emmett questions.

"There's only one thing I can do."

Emmett looks right into me and I know he knows.

"Edward, no. You…you just can't, you understand me. Fuck him. Fuck Charles Swan. What he thinks doesn't matter. I'm telling you, you are perfect for Bella, and she's perfect for you. I've never seen two people that are so meant to be together. What her father thinks and says doesn't mean shit."

Unfortunately, he couldn't more wrong.

Xoxo

I have hated so much, keeping things from Bella. When we first started dating we both decided that it was the lack of honesty in our past relationships that made them end. We promised not matter what we would always be honest with each other.

That was a promise I never thought I'd break.

It's late when I finally get to Bella's. As much as I tried to convince myself, I couldn't, I have to see her—I have to be with her.

After I left Emmett and his pleading words at the bar,I did some soul searching. I walked around aimlessly, until I found myself heading towards her apartment.

I walk inside the building and it's with heavy feet I make my way up the stairs.

_You will never be what my daughter needs._

_She deserves more than you could ever possibly give her._

As much as I try to shut out his voice, I can't. Emmett's words attempt to take their place, but it's useless, they are ineffective and squashed the moment they are remembered. Charles Swan is a very determined man even when he isn't present.

I use my key to let myself in. Bella's apartment is shrouded in darkness. I knew she would be in bed sound asleep. It will make things easier.

I swallow the lump that has taken up residence in my throat over the past few hours. Unfortunately it hasn't budged. It's lodged itself in there, refusing to go.

I quietly walk down the hall to her bedroom and push open the door.

I am right. Bella is sound asleep in her bed. The moonlight illuminates the room, casting an angelic glow around her. It makes my heart stutter.

I slowly make my way over to the bed, my eyes never leaving her. She is beauty personified. She always takes my breath away, but even more when she's peacefully sleeping.

I strip down to my boxer briefs and as gently as possible, without disturbing her, I crawl into bed. She instantly knows I'm there, her body turns into mine. She curls into my side, and I wrap my arm around her. She sighs in her sleep.

My heart twists itself from its protective cavity within my chest, and joins the lump in my throat.—my eyes burn.

My thoughts drift from the sleeping beauty next to me to prior events.

"_Are you sure Edward?" Aro credulously asks._

_I nod._

"_I can't say that I'm happy, but if it's what you want?" _

"_Aro, it's what…what I want." I lie._

"_Fine. If there's anything I can do to change your mind…" his voice drifts off, his eyes questioning me._

"_I'm sorry, Aro, there's nothing really. I've made up my mind."_

"_And you can only give me a week?"_

_I nod._

"_Alright then. I just wish you the best, Edward. I just wish there was something I could do to change your mind. We're really going to have a hard time replacing you. You're an amazingly, talented young man, and a very hard worker. It was a pleasure having you work for me." Aro stands up and puts out his hand. I place my hand in his and we shake. He smiles and gives me a quick nod. _

_I walk out of the shop, never looking back._

My chest tightens. More flashes of what's transpired since we got back flood my mind.

"_Oh, Edward, honey, you're my favorite tenant. Are you sure you need to…" Mrs. Cope starts to ask, but I'm quick to cut her off._

"_I'm sure, Mrs. Cope."_

"_Alright then, dear. Take care and good luck."_

_I walk away and never look back._

It feels as though my chest is going to explode. The ache inside is constricting. The lump and heart lodged in my throat make it difficult to swallow, to breath.

I feel as though I'm dying.

I am dying.

I tighten my arm around Bella and pull her closer to me. I inhale, she smells like vanilla and sugar and home. I inhale deeper, trying to get as much of her inside me so I don't…

My thoughts are interrupted when she stirs beside me.

I still, I stop breathing entirely.

When I look down at her to check if she's still sleeping, big, brown eyes meet mine.

I attempt to swallow, but it's useless.

"Edward? You're here…" she mumbles, her voice full of sleep.

I nod.

It's all I can do.

If I open my mouth I'll lose it—completely.

She starts to pepper my chest with light kisses.

I didn't intend for anything to happen.

I didn't intend for any of this to happen.

I tried my damnedest; I tried so fucking hard, but in the end…

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to keep everything from spilling out. I feel everything starting to crack and break inside me. And the ache is unbearable. I don't know if I can…

_You're nothing._

_You're not good enough for my Bella._

_The sooner this relationship ends the better._

His words drive home what I've known all along. They solidify what I've known, what Bella has chosen to ignore. But unlike her, I can't ignore it or them any longer.

Her hand roams my chest, her fingers circling the hairs smattered on it. I squeeze my eyes tighter, trying to imprint on my brain the feeling so I don't ever…

Instinctively my hands roam her body, her curves. My fingers travel every square inch of her, memorizing as they do.

Before I know what I'm doing, I flip us over, and I am hovering over Bella. She reaches her hand up and gentle swipes away the few hairs that have fallen against my forehead.

She looks up at me so lovingly I'm lost in her. Lost in how she are making me feel at the moment. Again, I commit the feeling to memory.

"Please talk to me," she whispers into the room.

I feel a stray tear run down my cheek. I squeeze my eyes shut to keep the others that are threatening to make themselves known at bay.

"Baby, please…" she begs.

But I don't answer with words, I answer by claiming her lips with my own.

It's deep, and long, and I try to convey everything that I'm feeling, while my heart slithers its way up further.

She moans into my mouth.

I take it and commit it to memory.

My lips travel her jaw, her neck, peppering her skin with everything I have left. I give her everything I can, knowing it won't be enough.

"Edward, please," she pleads, her nails scratching my back.

I don't want to give in, knowing it will only make this harder, but her words make me weak and break down my resolve.

I'll have plenty of time to hate myself later.

I'll have all the time in the world.

I already hate myself.

My hand finds the hem of her nightshirt and gently tugs on it. Bella raises her arms and the garment is thrown somewhere into the room. I feel her warm skin against my chest.

Her fingers make their way to the waist band of my boxer briefs, and with some assistance they find their way next to her nightshirt. Her panties follow right behind.

This wasn't my intention. I was just…

Our hands continue to massage and roam each other. Our kisses become deeper, more frantic.

I take it all in. I take all she is giving me. It's all I will have left.

"I need you, Edward. I need you so much," she whispers into my shoulder.

She will never know how much I will always need her, want her.

Never.

She pushes her legs apart, and without hesitation I bury myself inside her. I still my movements when I feel her completely around me. Those tears behind my eyes threaten to show themselves as I begin to push and pull inside of her.

I take my time. My movements are slow and deliberate. I think if I can prolong this moment it will never end, and what will happen next will never come.

With each push my body tells her I love her.

With each pull my body tells her I'm sorry.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

Soon enough the two phrases meld together.

Bella, quivers underneath me, my name falls from her lips.

IloveyouI'msorry.

IloveyouI'msorry.

IloveyouI'msorry.

And at the same time I cry her name out into the room, my heart slithers out of my body and into hers. The tears I've been trying to keep back, find their way down my cheeks. I bury my head in her neck. While both our bodies tremble, I quietly sob into her hair.

Bella's arms wrap around me, and pull me tighter against her. "It's okay, baby, I'm here. I love you, Edward. I love you."

I hold on to her with every I have. Trying to give her a fraction of what she's given me, what's she's giving me.

I slide off of her and pull her against me. She easily curls her body into her spot.

It will always be her spot.

I kiss her temple and then the top of her head. She pulls my arms tighter around her, and I let her. Slowly our breathing steadies. While eventually sleep finds Bella, it evades me.

I feel hollow—empty as I extricate my arms from around her. She stirs and I still.

She mumbles my name in her sleep.

I am nothing.

I have nothing.

As quickly and quietly as I can, I pick up my clothes and get dressed. Once I am dressed, I just stand a few feet from her bed watching, taking her in, memorizing the way she looks right now—so peaceful, so unaware. Her lips are slightly parted and her chest slowly rises and falls. Her brown locks fan out on her pillow. She takes my breath away.

I fight back the tears, the emotion inside me. I'm at war with myself for what I'm about to do.

There is no other choice.

I take a step forward and then another and another, until my knees touch the side of her bed. I lean down and before I change my mind, I gentle kiss her cheek. Before I can do any more harm, I pull away and stand up.

I leave the room; walk down the hall and out the door. It quietly clicks behind me.

I quickly take the stairs, and when I exit her building the enormity of what I've just done hits me like a Mac truck. Everything I've been holding back spills over and I am drowning in every emotion humanly possible. I stumble down the street and I never look back.

I never look back.

**Holy shit, that took a lot out of me, as well. I hope I did my homework assignment correctly. It was a quick turnaround for the due date. Anyway, let me know what you think. I'll be out buying more Kleenex. See ya soon!**


	4. Homework Assignment 3

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned any part of it, but sadly SM does. I just play in her sandbox making them do naughty, naughty things—this is Smut University, afterall. No copyright infringement intended.

**PTB Smut University Homework Assignment #3: Write a scene featuring two virgins – any pairing is fine, so long as both are virgins.**

**Okay, so when I got this assignment, (I knew it was coming) I already had an idea in my head, and my idea didn't go along with the whole Edward and Bella pairing. It just wouldn't work for them…so I'm changing things up a bit, and for the first time ever I am writing using a completely different pair than I ever have. So, there ya go! It's a little weird for me to write them, but like I said Bella and Edward just wouldn't work. **

**And as with all my Smut U assignments…this bad boy ain't beta'd either. All those wonderful mistakes are all mine!**

**Enjoy!**

**"First"**

I had the reputation of being a slut. The truth? I'm not a slut at all—not even close. In high school everyone just assumed because…well…because I had huge boobs, and liked to show them off—plus I dated…a lot. I'm very proud of what God gave me to work with. But, because of my lack of decorum, the girls at school thought I was sleeping around. Well, the joke is on them, I'm almost twenty and a junior in college and…dun dun dun…I'm a virgin.

Yep, my V card is still mine.

Now of course, in high school the opportunity presented itself from time to time for me to give my V card to someone, but I just wasn't ready. It's not like I was or am saving myself for marriage or anything…when the time came…it didn't feel right. My nerves would take over, and I would stop what we were doing. Of course, the "he" at the time, didn't like it, and would call me a tease and whatnot. But I knew I wasn't ready then—it just didn't feel right.

But still the reputation was there, and rumors spread like wildfire—of course a girl with a D-cup had to be a slut. And of course, the guy I was with had to save face, and embellish the truth—he basically scored. So Slut Jessica was born. I would be lying if the rumors, jabs, whispers and looks didn't hurt—because they did—but I was strong and put on a brave face, letting their jabs and digs roll off my back.

That reputation didn't really follow me to college—thank God. My freshman year, everyone on my dorm floor pretty much figured out I was still a virgin—me and another girl actually. And I was proud of it—still am.

Don't get me wrong. I've done stuff with guys. I've seen a dick or two—I've even had my fingers wrapped around one, but that's it. There's been heavy petting and finger exploring on his part, but nothing more. Like I said I would know when the time was right—I would know when it would present itself and I would just take it.

And I believe that time has come. Tonight I'm going to lose my virginity to Mike Newton, and it just feels right.

I first started seeing Mike around campus, about two or three months ago. He's always hanging around my friend Ryan. The three of us started hanging out—many late nights in Ryan's dorm room listening to music. Something about Mike just clicked with me. We started to become an us. Ryan instantly saw it, and I overhead him talking to Mike one day, telling him to be patient with me, I wasn't like most girls. My virgin status had been outed in not so many words.

Needless to say, Mike has been patient. There's been tons of kissing and touching and rubbing—everything making me all tingly and hot and bothered. And I knew Mike felt the same—I feel on my leg or my stomach or wherever every time. He's been extremely patient, but he won't have to me anymore.

Mike is coming over to my dorm room tonight to just hang out and watch television while Ryan is doing something perverted with his random flavor of the week. My dorm isn't like typical dorms are. They are really more like apartments—kitchenette, bathroom, two bedrooms, living room. And lucky me, my roommate at the beginning of the term, Angela, was too homesick to stay, so she left. I now have the bigger bedroom and the entire place to myself. I took the twin mattress from the guys across the hall and made my twin bed into a king. It's on the floor of course, but it's roomy and comfy and just perfect for Mike and me.

For us.

For tonight.

I patiently wait on the couch for a knock on my door. Mike said he would be over sometime around nine, and it's already nine thirty. Maybe he forgot. Maybe he isn't coming. Maybe he's tired of being patient and has moved on already. Before my insecurities can get the best of me—there's finally a soft knock on my door.

I fly off the coach, skid across the floor in my socks as I quickly make my way to the door.

_Don't open just yet; you don't want to appear needy._

I take a look through the peephole, and there is Mike staring at the floor, the ceiling before his hand comes up and he knocks again.

I'm prepared for it, but I still jump when I feel it against my face.

I take a step back, check my breath—making sure it's still minty fresh—unlock the door, and open it.

He flashes me a boyish grin, and I can't help but get weak in the knees as the butterflies in my stomach flutter even faster.

"Hi." He smiles wider at me, his eyes roaming up and down me.

"Hi," I answer back, moving out of the way to let him in.

Mike walks past me, and I get a whiff of him, and he smells like, soap and musk and...just boy. My stomach flip flops.

When I make my way into the living room, I find him sitting on the couch, remote in hand flipping through the channels.

His eyes meet mine, and they twinkle. Mike eases off the couch and on to the floor. He opens his legs and pats the spot between them. I walk over and nestle myself between his legs as directed. Mike's free arm wraps around me—pulling me against his chest. His heart beats rapidly against my back.

Maybe he's nervous too? But there's no way he can know what I have planned for us tonight. I never told him, that I wanted tonight to be the night. I didn't tell anyone…except for my cousin. We talked on the phone. I had a gazillion and one questions about what it was going to be like. She rest assured me that it's different for everyone, but that in the end I would be fine.

Mike's fingers absently rub lazy circles against my collar bone. I settle against his chest even further, relishing in the hard muscles and just the feel of his body so close to mine. That tingly sensation starts to build inside me.

Mike, finally settles on an old movie, _Marked for Death_ with Steven Segal—boys and their action movies. It's not half bad from what I've seen and paid attention to. Most of my attention has been lost in my head. How in the world am I going to make this happen? I'm ready; I know I'm finally ready.

About half way or three-quarters through the movie I feel Mike's head lean down, and his lips graze the shell of my ear—his breath warm and sends shivers throughout my body.

I tilt my head back, and capture his lips with my own. A sweet tender kiss turns into desire, want, and need in a matter of seconds.

Before long we are a frenzy of kisses and roaming hands.

Mike pulls away for a moment, and gives that tell-tale questioning look, "Are you sure?"

To let him know my answer, I get up, stand before him and reach for his hand. Mike easily slips his in mine and gets up off the floor when I pull.

I led him down the hall to my room.

Knowing that is this the moment, I begin to undress. He watches me with want and something else in his eyes…something I can't put my finger on.

Nerves?

I quickly push that idea out of my head, why would Mike be nervous.

I stand before him in nothing buy my bra and panties. I feel completely exposed and raw at the moment.

Noticing my uneasiness, Mike pulls me into his arms and starts to slowly and tenderly kiss my neck. My body turns to putty in his arms.

The frenzy from the living room is abandoned, nothing but tenderness is in our kisses now.

Mike pulls away, his blue eyes looking straight into mine. "Jess, I need to tell you something…something embarrassing."

I nod for him to continue.

He swallows. "I know you've never…but I've never…either…"

His words linger in the air, and then realization dawns on me.

Mike's a virgin too.

How can that be?

He's practically twenty.

I thought as a rule, all guys had to lose their virginity before coming to college.

But knowing Mike is a virgin like me, puts my mind at ease.

"Well, I guess, we'll learn this together," I reassure him.

He smiles and then kisses me.

"Um…also…I don't have any…"

His voice trails off.

I look at him questioningly; trying to figure out what in the world is he talking about.

Mike looks down between us and pushes his pelvis against me. I feel it, or him, or it…or, and it's hard against me.

The proverbial light bulb goes off above my head.

I turn in his arms to my dresser and open the top drawer—my underwear drawer. I pull out a box and show it to Mike.

"When did you?"

"Safety first…" I tell him.

He shakes his head and takes the box from me.

Mike guides me to the bed and we both settle down. He begins to open the box and pulls out a condom, setting it aside.

He turns attention back to me, kissing me.

Our hands explore each other.

Mike's clothes find their way beside mine on the floor. He hovers over me in nothing but his boxers.

Eventually, he looks at me, questioning me.

I nod.

Mike loses his boxers and I my bra and panties.

He turns from me and fumbles putting the condom on. I hear him curse several times under his breath.

I stifle a giggle.

When he's done, he lays between my lays, positioning himself.

My pulse and heart rate skyrocket.

Mike's hand moves between us, I feel the tip of him against me.

His eyes find mine and they question, yet again.

I nod.

Mike slowly starts to push inside me, when I gasp, my body jerks away.

"I'm so sorry," he apologizes.

I calm myself as best I can, and give him the okay to try again.

Mike again, slowly pushes just inside, and my reaction is the same.

He rolls away from me. "Jess, I can't…I don't… I don't want to hurt you…it's killing me…I think…I think maybe tonight isn't our night…I know you believe you're ready…but your body isn't…"

I try to argue against him, but he's right. Tonight isn't the night.

"I'm sorry," I utter to him.

He turns to me. "Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry about. We will try again…just not tonight. Tonight, I'm just going to hold you, if that's okay?"

I nod.

Mike pulls me into his arms, and as promised he holds me all night and into the morning.

Xoxo

I was dreaming, when this incessant pounding interrupted Johnny Depp and his tongue. I sit up, and glance at the clock. There is more pounding.

_Who in the hell is pounding on my friggin door at three in the morning?_

When I look through the peephole, my question is immediately answered—Mike.

I open the door to let him in, and he sways towards me. The smell of stale beer wafts around him kinda like dirt swirls around Pig Pen from the Peanuts gang.

"Mike, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted, no I needed to see you."

"Are you drunk?"

"Just slightly buzzed. I had a few beers at Crowley's party. But it wasn't much of a party because you were here and I was there—alone."

I have a strong feeling it's more than "slightly buzzed."

"Yeah, well I wasn't exactly invited, and I had some studying I needed to catch up on anyway."

Mike puts his arm around my shoulder and guides me to my room.

He flops down on my bed, his eyes never leaving mine. He curls his finger at me, beckoning me to join him—I easily oblige.

I curl into Mike's side as he slips his arm around me, pulling me closer. He kisses the top my head, my cheek and then his lips find mine. He tastes of beer and mint.

The kiss deepens, his tongue snakes out, sweeping against my bottom lip. I part my lips for him, welcoming his tongue with my own.

Mike's hands roam my curves, his hands greedy.

His lips leave mine, and as they travel along my jaw and then my neck, my entire body aches for him. My insides are aflame, and I feel like I am going to combust at any moment.

"Jessica…" My name is a plea.

I nod.

My nightshirt becomes nonexistent—I lay in nothing but my cotton panties.

His nose skims my cheek; he breathes into my ear, and then murmurs, "God, you're so fucking beautiful, you have no idea, do you?"

My cotton panties find their place next to my nightshirt.

My brain pushes aside my discomfort of being totally naked in front of him. Mike is the first guy to ever see me this way. If I weren't so caught up in how his mouth and hands were making me feel, more than likely I would be totally freaking out.

I'm naked.

In front of a boy.

I'm totally naked.

Okay, so I'm slightly freaking out.

Mike's question stalls my freak-out, "Jess, I don't have any…do you still…"

I nod, and then get up and go to my dresser, retrieving the box of condoms I showed him the other night.

I get back on the bed and hand him the box. Mike takes out a single condom. I notice he swallows—thickly.

I'm slightly put more at ease knowing I'm not the only one who's slightly nervous. As much as I am ready—I know I'm ready, nervous energy bubbles deep inside me.

Mike takes off his shirt, his lean body slowly being put on display for me. My eyes take him in. It's my turn to swallow, knowing what is going to soon happen.

Slowly, he wiggles out of his jeans and boxers, before turning his attention solely on me. My heart pounds in my chest, it feels like a Silverback gorilla is on the inside.

Mike turns from me slightly when he gets back into my bed. I hear the distinct ripping of a foil package and I know what he's doing. The gorilla pounds harder—faster.

He mumbles something incoherently, and then finally turns back to me—a tender smile on his lips. My insides slightly melt from that smile.

Mike hovers over me; my legs spread and bent open for him. He steadies himself, leaning down and softly kisses my lips. His hand reaches between us. I steel myself for what is to come. Unlike the other night, Mike doesn't hesitate. He quickly pushes into me, and a shocking pain rips through me. It burns and aches inside. Mike stills for a moment, I slightly wiggle beneath him, and he pushes in further. I gasp. The burning sensation intensifies for a moment, before it starts to dissipate. It's still there, but it's become more bearable, more of an annoyance if anything else.

Mike begins to rock his body in and out of mine, his arms shake next to me.

"Jess, I can't believe…it feels…I just…it's unlike…" his words try to describe how he's feeling.

I've always wondered if and when I lost my virginity would it be like how it was in the movies or on soap operas. The loving couple plans the big night, candles are glowing, soft, rose petals are strewn about the room, while romantic music plays in the background. The guy easily finds his release, but only after the girl has had the orgasm of her life. There is no mess, nothing to clean up afterwards, the loving couple just hold each other—wrapped up in a cocoon of love, and then fall asleep basking in the afterglow of having wonderful, life changing sex for the first time..

Let me tell you, what is happening to me, right now, is nothing…nothing at all like the movies. It doesn't feel good. I don't feel my muscles coiling inside me. I don't feel this euphoria that seems to grace the lovely actresses faces. There are no glowing candles in my room, no flowers, no romantic music. The only light is that of the parking lot light post that shines through my bedroom blinds. The only flowers are outside. The only music is the sound of flesh smacking flesh and the grunting of Mike.

What they show you in the movies is false advertisement in my eyes. I'm sure somewhere out there, there is a girl losing her virginity like they do in the movies, but that girl isn't me.

Mike thrusts one last time inside me. There is no calling out of names in sheer pleasure. There are no "I love yous" exchanged. It is what it is and nothing more.

Mike kisses me before rolling off of me—his panting filling the room. I lay next to him kinda shell-shocked. The reality of what we just did slowly seeping into my brain.

I just lost my virginity.

I gave my V-card to Mike Newton, and he gave me his.

A small smile creeps across my lips, but it's short lived because the ache between my legs when I move, sends that smile packing.

I wince.

My body stills.

The ache subsides.

I turn to talk to Mike, and when I do I find he's sleeping. I give him a shake, but it's like he's passed out cold—snoring and sleeping soundly.

I ignore the pang in my chest.

I get out of bed, and make my way to the bathroom. When I look down at my naked body I notice streaks of red on my thighs—blood.

I grab a washcloth, turn on the faucet, and allow the water to get warm.

After wetting the washcloth, I stand with my knees slightly bent and my legs spread apart…that's when I see it.

That's when I see the condom Mike put on himself, dangling from between my legs—part of it still inside me.

I cringe.

I can't believe this is happening.

I pull it out of me and quickly wrap it in toilet paper before throwing it in the trashcan. I turn my attention back to cleaning myself up. The warm towel is soothing against my soreness.

False advertisement.

You never see this in the movies.

Once I'm all cleaned up, I glance at myself in the mirror.

I thought I would look different—I don't.

Brown ruffled bed hair, blue eyes, and flushed skin stare back at me. I still look like me. I don't feel like the same me on the inside though. And over and over again in my head I keep repeating, "you just had sex"… "you had sex for the first time"… "you are no longer a virgin".

I head back to my room, leaving the light on in the bathroom to illuminate the dark space. Mike is still sound asleep. I guess the mixture of a beer buzz, and losing his virginity really took it out on him.

The light shines in the room as I take in my bed. Then I see the red on the sheet—my blood. My eyes turn to Mike, and I get closer to him for a better look. His skin is still unmarked by me.

Thank God.

I begin the task of putting his boxers back on him. He doesn't stir as I manipulate his body to do so—yep, passed out cold.

I can't help but feel neglected.

This should be the most momentous occasion, and here is the guy I decided to give my virginity to, passed out afterwards. I want to be angry, but I can't.

It is what it is.

I quickly make my way around the bed, loosening the sheet. As carefully as I can, I work the sheet out from under Mike; his dead weight making it difficult.

Now I'm working up a sweat—figures.

With one last tug, the sheet comes loose, and I stumble backwards. I go get a clean sheet and make the bed, hiding the evidence of just what happened in the hamper.

It's much more difficult—thanks to Mike—making it than it was taking the sheet off, but finally after struggling for seems like forever, the bed is fresh.

I put on a new pair of panties and my nightshirt. I get into my clean bed and snuggle up against Mike. His arm snakes around me, pulling me closer. In his sleep he kisses the top of my head and mumbles, "Thank you, Jess."

I smile and whisper a thank you, too before letting sleep finally take me.

It may not be the movies, but it's my movie, and I wouldn't change a thing.

**Well, okay then. There ya go. I don't know how I really feel about this one. I've never written a virgin scene before, so I hope I've done it some justice. I hope I've captured her emotions and I just hope it was realistic—because in the end that was what I was going for. Losing your virginity isn't always candles and roses and sunshine like the movies and television make it out to be. Yeah, I hope I captured it realistically. Let me know what you think. See ya soon!**


	5. Homework Assignment 4

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned any part of it, but sadly SM does. I just play in her sandbox making them do naughty, naughty things—this is Smut University, afterall. No copyright infringement intended.

**PTB Smut University Homework Assignment #4: Write any kind of masturbation scene, as long as it's outside of your comfort zone. Remember to describe what your character is thinking and feeling (using as few adverbs as possible). There should be at least one reference to Cornflakes.**

**Okay, so the fabu professor, Flanny wanted us to step out of our comfort zone for this one. So I am diving head first into so very, very deep water for her. I am totally out of my comfort zone with this one, and I have to admit…I am scared shitless. I've never written like this before and it just scares the bejesus out of me to do so. So that comfort zone is just a miniscule dot from where I'm standing. Okay, well here it is…I hope I do Flanny proud *bites on nails to the nub***

**And as with all my Smut U assignments…this bad boy ain't beta'd either. All those wonderful mistakes are all mine!**

**Enjoy!**

"**Monster Unleashed"**

I hadn't meant to leave Bella's so abruptly, but I had to. The way she was eating her late-night snack—a bowl of cornflakes—was driving me to the brink of just taking her right then and there, and I just couldn't allow that to happen. As much as the monster inside me begged me to, pleaded with me to, threatened me if I didn't—I just couldn't.

I could never hurt Bella that way.

I could never take Bella that way.

She deserved so much more.

She deserved better than that.

As I run through the forest just outside of town, I am bombarded with images of her that I just can't shake.

Bella's mouth opening up, her lips wrapping around the spoon.

Her tongue darting out to swipe away a droplet of milk from the corner of her mouth.

The slight moan that escapes her mouth when she first took a spoonful of boring old cornflakes. Who knew cornflakes could be so…erotic.

The smell of the sweet sugar she coated her cornflakes with mixed with her intoxicating and overwhelming scent had me gripping the mattress, effectively ripping a small hole into it.

The fact that watching her eat; which I've done a thousand times before, was able to bring out the most primal animal in me, kind of scared me and sent me running.

I told Bella I would be back later, before she fell asleep, and it killed me to lie to her like that, because honestly I know if I went back there at some point tonight that smell would still be lingering in her room and those images would be more vivid than they already are.

I had to put some distance between Bella, myself and the monster.

I had to.

For her.

It's always for her.

I know she wants us to consummate our relationship, even though I can't read her mind, I know the idea is there—especially when we start to kiss. I use all the self-restraint I have not to take her the way I can, the way I want. The way I want would kill her.

I pump my legs faster, harder, trying to run away from the thoughts, the images, from her.

The smell of the forest permeates my senses, but in the back of my mind I can still smell that sweet aroma. I can still smell Bella.

The monster pushes from deep inside—clawing and punching his way through my restraint.

I run faster.

I push myself further into the woods.

When I finally feel like I've run as far as I can, I stop.

The world comes to a screeching halt.

If I were able to I would be panting, trying desperately to catch my breath. I lean up against a tree and brace my hands on my knees—at times my human mannerisms come out without warning.

I stand up, leaning against the tree, and take a deep breath of the fresh night air. Hoping when doing so, I wash away any trace left of that lingering scent.

The fragrance of moss, dirt and bark start to wipe away all traces, until…

…I make the mistake of closing my eyes.

At warp speed my mind conjures up all the images I've been trying desperately to suppress.

Tongue.

Lips.

Spoon.

Tongue.

Lips.

Milk dribbling down her neck, coating her.

And the smell, Oh God, the smell.

It's sweet and warm and all Bella.

The monster is loose, he's roaming inside just below the surface, readying himself to punch his way through—all the way through.

My clenched fists beat against the tree I'm leaning against, turning it into kindling.

The images flash faster, and they are starting to blur together, turning into something more.

Bella's trails the spoon down her neck and to her breasts, and traces it along the swell.

_Flash._

Bella moans as the spoon enters her mouth. She sucks the milk and cereal off of it and then releases it with a pop. She licks her lips and hums.

_Flash._

Bella drinks from the bowl, milk starts to pour down her neck coating her in a color almost matching her own. Her chest is heaving as the milk soaks the thin material of her white t-shirt. She's bare underneath. With my lustful eye, I see the pinkish color of her nipples as they poke through the sheer fabric.

The monster is free.

My jeans are ripped from my body; my boxer briefs practically meet the same demise.

My extremely hard, aching cock springs free. I quickly wrap my hand around it and immediately begin stroking it up and down…up and down.

The monster is pleased.

I envision Bella standing before me, watching me. Her eyes are trained on my cock as I continue to pump it, while tension builds inside me.

I hear her whisper in my ear, "I love your cock, Edward. I love watching you touch yourself, baby. Imagine it's my mouth wrapped around it, licking and sucking—my warm, hot mouth teasing you, pleasing you."

I begin to pump faster, harder at her words.

My insides start to twist and coil. My orgasm fast approaching.

She continues to whisper, "That's it baby. I want to see you come. I need to see you come. Come, for me Edward. Come for me."

As the last word leaves her lips, and with one final drag on my hand down my length, I come, crying out her name into the night sky. My relief is instantaneous. Euphoria courses through me-like I've never felt before.

The monster growls and roars from deep within.

Bella smiles at me, her eyes are soft and warm. And then she fades into nothingness.

I open my eyes and take in the scene before me. My hand is still tightly wrapped around my twitching cock, as it glistens in the moonlight.

The monster retreats—pleased with himself, with me.

Sweet relief washes over me, yet I feel somewhat guilty using Bella that way—to satisfy my primal needs.

But I kept her safe. She's still alive because if she had really been her with me I don't think either one of us would have survived.

**Alrighty, well there you go. Gah, I really don't like it (wow shocker, huh) but it is what it is. I hope I did Prof. Flanny proud. I have never written Edward as a vamp and I've never written a masturbation scene. So, yeah kinda really super duper nervous to have this post. Oh hell. Show me some love?**


	6. Homework Assignment 5

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned any part of it, but sadly SM does. I just play in her sandbox making them do naughty, naughty things—this is Smut University, afterall. No copyright infringement intended.

**PTB Smut University Homework Assignment #5: Draw from a personal sexual experience – good, bad, or ugly – and write it out. Bring yourself back to that moment and try to express your own feelings.**

**Okay, so professor, SexiLexiCullen wanted us to get real. So, that's exactly what I'm gonna do with this one. Part of this little O/S is from my own experience, but of course there is some of my imagination thrown in there. I couldn't completely tell my story, now could I? This is Edward and Bella's story after all. I hope you like.**

**And as with all my Smut U assignments…this bad boy ain't beta'd either. All those wonderful mistakes are all mine!**

**Enjoy!**

"**Becoming One, Becoming More"**

Babies.

They've been on my mind lately—a lot.

I have that overwhelming desire to have one. Like right now have one.

I guess you could say my biological clock is ticking, and it is loud and fast.

Rose just gave birth to my second nephew, and when I held him for the first time, my heart burst right open. And then when Alice and Jasper dropped by with Bree the other day, my heart tore open even more.

I think Edward senses it. I think he realizes I have that baby itch going on. It's not like I'm hiding it. I've been off the pill for a while now—he knows. I've been watching "A Baby Story" non-stop. I've also been reading everything I can get my hands on. Everything from how to tell when you're ovulating, to how to make sure you get pregnant the first time. I don't think there's any reason for us not to get pregnant. I mean we're both young and healthy and extremely sexual. So, it's only a matter of time it actually happens. We haven't actually tried—yet. Edward has been very adamant about wrapping up. I can't say I haven't been disappointed, but now it's just time.

All this week I've been…well, I've been making sure Edward has all of the little spermy soldiers as possible. I read it somewhere that the more a man comes the more sperm he produces. So…being the loving wife I am, I've been going down on him every night. He thinks I'm loving showing his cock so much attention—don't get me wrong I do love giving his cock all the attention it deserves, it's a great cock after all, but my intentions are somewhat selfish. Tonight we're gonna make a baby. I'm ovulating—saw that slimy shit this morning when I went to the bathroom. So there's nothing to stop his little swimmers from making that baby.

***BOBM***

It shouldn't be a surprise to Edward when I enter our bedroom dressed in a little lacy, blue nightie. I've been doing it every night this week. First it was purple, then red, and then black. But I know Edward loves me in blue so I'm hoping I get the desired effect I want—Edward ravishing me.

His eyes take in me as I make my way over the armoire that hold our television and dvd player. He quirks a questioning eyebrow at me.

_Oh, just you wait for what I have in store for you, Mr. Cullen. _

Earlier today, while Edward was at work, I made a trip to the local adult store. I was embarrassed to go into it in broad daylight—afraid someone might recognize me. Plus, I've never been in one those type of places before. I imagined a seedy, dark disgusting place, with a pervert in every corner getting off to the images on the televisions, and a balding, greasy man behind the counter waiting to just smile his disgusting smile at me, wiggling his eyebrows as I make my purchase. But when I stepped inside, it was the complete opposite. The place was bright and quiet music played in the back ground. There was a girl with several piercings behind the counter, and she wasn't scary looking at all. In fact, under different circumstances we might end up being friends.

I walked the length of the store in search of just the movie I was looking for, when I finally spotted it—_Thighs Wide Open_. I wasn't much of Tom Cruise fan frankly, and I never saw _Eyes Wide Shut, _but something about _Thighs Wide Open_ called to me. I've never really watched porn before, and I thought it was another first Edward and I could experience together. Plus, I was hoping that the movie would add to his want of me and the baby loving would even be that much better.

We've experimented with toys in the bedroom. My purple friend is always nearby in my bedside table. Edward loves watching me use it on myself more than he loves using it on me. We've tried other things too—warning massaging oils, a gel called "Great Head" that subdues my gag reflex, among other things. Who knew my straight-laced, old-fashioned husband had a bit of kink in him.

I take the dvd out of his cover and place in the player. I saunter over to the bed after hitting play; my eyes never leaving his. Edward's eyes flicker from mine to the television, however, I've positioned myself so I'm effectively blocking his view. I notice Edward bend a little to the left—I counter his move. He then bends a little to right, again I counter.

"Bella? What do you think you're doing?" he questions, his voice husky and thick with want.

"I'm just trying to seduce my sexy, hot husband with a little surprise, that's all," I answer, doing my best to sound coy, yet sexy at the same time.

I watch Edward swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing as he does.

I'm definitely getting the desired effect I want—Edward is going to be putty in my hands, and I can't wait.

I lean on the mattress and begin to slowly crawl up him—my fingers gently scratch and graze his skin as I do. I pepper any part of him my lips can touch with gentle kisses. I feel his muscles tense under me. My face meets his, and I lightly and torturously brush my lips against his. A gush of air escapes him once I draw my attention to his jaw.

"Fuck, Bella, you're killing me," his words come out in a rush.

With one more torturously lick of my tongue along his jaw, I pull away. Edward groans as the movie begins to play. "Just watch, babe. I think you might enjoy tonight," I tell him.

He pulls me close against him. "Bella, I enjoy every night with you."

I melt inside.

He's a fantastic husband.

He's going to make a wonderful father.

The plot of course is non-existent, except there's something about a husband taking his wife to a party at his boss's house. Whatever. I can barely concentrate on it because Edward's fingers are ghosting over my hip, toying with the fabric of my nightie and my skin when it's exposed. The feeling of his fingers touching me, but not really, is turning me on. His touch always does no matter how light. It's taking every ounce of restraint not to jump his bones right now. I want us to get into the movie a little, when there's some sexing going on, so maybe we can copy it.

Edward turns his head and his nose skims my cheek, his lips find my ear.

"So, baby, is there a reason why we're watching porn?" His tongue snakes out and licks the outer shell of my ear, I shiver.

I swallow, and if I had an Adam's apple it probably would be bobbing as Edward's did earlier. "Um…I thought maybe…just maybe…we could act out part of it while we…make…our baby." There I said it. I hope he doesn't reach over and pull out a fucking condom.

His mouth is at my ear again. "I would love to re-enact what we see and more than anything make a baby with you."

My insides come undone, and without another word or thought I straddle Edward—the movie playing in the background—forgotten.

He makes quick work of freeing my body of my nightie—I straddle him completely bare, his hard cock pressing against me. I only have to move my hip a fraction and it will be right at that spot that desperately needs and wants his touch.

Edward's hands move up my sides and then cup my breasts, squeezing and teasing my nipples.

My body of its own fruition pushes into his hands—hungering for more. Always more—it's never enough with Edward. Never.

He sits up, his mouth seeking out my heated skin. It makes contact and goosebumps break out everywhere. A delicious shiver creeps up my back. I love how my body responds to his touch—to him. I know it would know it was him even without eyes. My body just knows and senses his touch. It's almost as if my body is owned by him—that it was made to be.

I begin to swivel my hips just little to get some friction going—the ache is growing exponentially between my legs.

Moaning resonates in the room, and I can't distinguish if it's coming from us or from the television.

I look at Edward; he has one eye on mine and one on the television. He smiles against my skin, but not a smile of rainbows and kittens, a smile of devilish proportions.

Suddenly I find myself no longer straddling him, but under him—Edward pins me not only with his body, but with his eyes as well. They have me paralyzed, hypnotized even. If he were to ask me to cluck like a fucking chicken I probably would. I am helpless when I am wrapped up in his spell.

He skims my torso, his lips barely touching. When he reaches my breasts his mouth takes my pert nipple into it lavishing it with licking, biting, and sucking—teasing and torturing me until I am writhing under his touch.

"Edward, please," I beg, needing him so much.

I feel him smile again, this time it's playful. In a flash he's nose to nose with me. "I don't want to rush, love, I want to enjoy every square inch of you, especially when I watch you scream out my name as I come inside you making the most beautiful baby the world has ever seen."

His words are my undoing. How does he even do that?

I reach my hands around his neck, but pull his lips to mine. Lips, tongues, and teeth become one—fusing together in a symphony of lust, want and above all else love—a deep rooted love that could rival that of all the loves in history.

The movie long forgotten goes mute. It's just me and Edward and our sounds of love filling the air—moaning and groaning, words of affection and desire.

Edward nudges my legs wider with his knee, and I oblige without hesitation. He continues to lavish my body with his lips—worshiping me like only he can. I feel the head of his cock slide against my slick entrance before he stops and slowly pushes in. Every time with Edward feels like the first time—surprising with how completely he fills and stretches me. Once he's completely sheathed in my warmth, he stills and looks into my eyes. The green of them twinkle with something I've never seen before, a longing or a wanting that seems so different.

Edward squeezes them before revealing them to me, this time with a glistening—a single tear streams down his chiseled jaw.

I reach my fingers up and capture the tiny droplet of water, knowing it holds so much meaning.

"Bella…" and that's all he's able to say.

I know what he's thinking without having to hear it. This time it's different, this time means so much more than the both of us. This time we're attempting to create a life between us—a life that will encapsulate the essence of the purest and best parts of the both of us.

My eyes now show my emotion of truly understanding the path before us.

Edward begins to slowly move inside of me—creating a steady rhythm that's both loving and forceful at the same time. He's giving me the best part of himself with each thrust and I return the best part of me when my hips meet his.

We are tangle of limbs, hands, and fingers. We are a sound of moans, groans, skin against skin. We are tender, and gentle. We are greedy and needy. We are tongues and lips. We are giving and taking—pushing and pulling. We are sucking and licking. We are loving. We are one.

Edward thrusts harder, deeper and faster, as I feel the build up inside approach. My insides ignite as I find myself precariously dangling over the edge by my tippy toes, ready to take that fall—ready to fall with and for Edward.

"Bella?" I know exactly what he's asking as he takes my leg and lifts it over his shoulder to get even deeper.

I stifle a giggle because I get help but think maybe he's done some research too, because I read somewhere that this position can help his little spermy swimmers get there faster.

Instead I nod, answering his unspoken question.

He pushes and pulls faster. His eyes never leaving mine, it's a silent understanding we have. We see each other—really see each other until the end.

With one final thrust of his pelvis I fall completely. I feel like I'm spiraling in my orgasm and it's never ending. My body pulsates and quivers with each passing moment crescendoing until I still.

The green of his eyes sparkle knowing he's brought me that ecstasy. And then I'm seeing his. His body tightens and stills after a final push inside me. Watching Edward in the middle of his orgasm is mind blowing, it's a thing of beauty. It should be captured and put on display in the finest, most elitist museums in the world. I am left in awe of him.

Edward trails kisses from my forehead to my lips. They mold with mine, the feeling of love captured in them. I might melt a little because of them.

He pulls out of me and cradles me in his arms. My body misses the contact, yet it feels different this time. It feels as though he's left a part of him inside of me. It feels like we might have been successful in making our baby even though I know deep down it's too early to tell.

His strong arms wrap around me, pulling me flush against his chest. "I love making a baby with you."

"I love making a baby with you," I echo.

Edward's hand comes down and splays against my stomach, and I place mine right on top of it. I know deep in my heart—in my soul, that we did just that, we made a baby tonight. A beautiful baby that will hopefully have his beautiful green eyes, grace, and talent for music; while embodying my love of books and my independence. A perfect combination of the two of us.

Edward's hand never leaves my stomach, nor does mine, as we both drift off to sleep knowing that we just might have created something beautiful and all ours.

**Alrighty, well there you go. Are you trying to figure out which part is real and which part is fiction? Hmmmm? I'll never tell. Show me some love, and let me know what you're thinking…I'd really love to know. **


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